What do you really want?

I just finished the second retreat in as many months where we discussed the question, "What do you really, reaaaally, REALLY, really (many really's later) want?"  I wrote of wanting to help other people, lose weight, have an easy life, make good choices, start a non-profit, be a good mom...the list went on. And on.  I only had three minutes to write about it.

Today in the car with Altug I was talking to him about the retreat while also pointing out shops that we were passing and asking him if he had ever been to this and that restaurant (plus comment on my opinion of the restaurant) and telling him where to park, and ....he looked at me and said, "I don't understand how your brain works!" I said, "It has many layers and is like this all the time, always thinking, questioning, creative, retreating...." Honestly, it can be exhausting.

Driving home from the retreat my mentor/friend/life coach Kris said something that resonated with me after my struggling to give an answer to a simple question.  "Maybe you are just overcomplicating things.  Usually it's really simple. You want to or you don't."  We were talking about going to the gym.  I said "You really think I don't want to go to the gym?"  and she said, "Yes, you choose to stay in bed.  That is your choice.  Simple."  Oh how I hate it when she simplifies it so much and I know it is true.  SO true.  That Real House Wives of whatever city has been a choice for me over exercise is not something I want to own up to, but it is my choice.  Comfy bed over burpees, totally my choice.

In thinking today about what I reallllllly want, I am going to work on simplfying. Owning my choices and not questioning the hell out of myself. That's also going to take listening to my true self and not all the bogus thoughts  that are clouded with the what ifs.  Taking action on the voice that knows what really will work and feel good and simple.

So what do you really want?  Think about it...write about it. You might be surprised at the answer you get.