The Time is Now

My life is changing and I feel it.  It's one of those magical times when everything seems to come together smoothly, not perfectly, but smoothly.  Things are making sense and ideas are becoming clearer to me.  This isn't one of those "It's January I am changing my life" type deal.

It's more like I have been working on this for a looong time and I think I am beginning to understand that there has been and will alway be one hinderance to my success and happiness in this lifetime, my huge addiction to my fearful thoughts. It's been a wild love affair that's ending and I am realizing I've been in an abusive relationship with myself.  Go figure.  It's me.  Not you.

Back in June I had a trip to the doctor and weighed more than I ever had and more than I ever thought I would.  I'm talking Biggest Loser show, FIRST weight in.  I went back to work mortified and I did something I would never do before.  I reached out for help.  To a skinny person.  To someone who I knew would help me.  To an employee of mine.  To a lifesaver.

Imagine this:
Jenny:  Can I see you in my office?
Friend: Sure.
Jenny:  I need your help.  Can't do it anymore. Help Wanted.

Without hesitation she signed up for the job and the journey began.

There have been a lot of moving parts up to this point of today which I will share another time.  But the important thing that I can see that in asking for help,  love showed up.

I heard recently on the Gayle King talk show during an interview was a comment about the thoughts we have in our heads and how harsh hey can be to ourselves.  I was in the car just leaving a hard workout at my gym (Crossfit Anywhere) and was really proud of myself.  Gayle said, "You know, those thoughts are really like little monsters that live in our heads."

It hit me like a ton of bricks. FEAR, afraid, terrified, scary...they are all just thoughts that are screwing with our minds which lead to fearful actions (or in my case inaction).  That moment I knew I would write a blog about me challenging my fears called "I'm Not Afraid of Monsters."  That was last Novemeber...I've been too afraid to begin to write it  for the following reasons:

• What if people hate it and, 
• I embarrase my family, or 
• What if no one reads it, and 
• I probably won't have anything to write about anyway!
• I'm a bad speller, what if spellcheck doesn't catch it,
• These things are permanent and what if I am applying for a job in the future and my employer reads it and think it's unprofessional...

DO YOU GET IT?  I am FULL of crappy, fearful thoughts...And GUESS what...I don't think I am alone.

So, here I am writing it.  Facing the fear head on.  

Here's the deal, I am working on facing my fears and I want create and encourage others to do the same in this forum.  It's time we all stop limiting ourselves and start loving ourselves.  I plan to utilize this blog to update my fear facing adventures and to share stories of the same.  I love to share great articles and video's that I find so you'll see those here too.

Most of all, I want to do the thing I have wanted to do for years.  Write. Share.  Grow. Life the life that I have dreamed up and God has granted.  

Who wants to join me?